This is an important post.
One of the things they said to me was "You will continue on like nothing ever happened" and "This won't affect anyone else".
Natural mothers know this isn't true. We also know how much losing a child to adoption affects the rest of the family for generations. We see it. The rest of society needs to see it too.
My mother recently died, never having had met her first grandchild and I am having such a hard time with this. I found my child a few years ago and he never showed an interest knowing or meeting in any of his natural family. I don't blame him. I blame the people I entrusted him with, who I am certain convinced him that his natural family was not important. We were not important but their families were? Had it not been for us, there would have been no child for them to covet. How easy it is for them to forget that, in their cruelty and selfishness of hoarding someone else's child all to themselves, while that child's natural family suffers.
ReplyDeleteThey say "You will continue on like nothing ever happened" and "This won't affect anyone else" knowing full well they are lying through their teeth. It effects everyone.
Agree completely! I also agree with Gypsy except my son has taken the stance to stand up to his adoptive family and their attitudes. It is emotionally wrenching for him and breaks my heart to see them make him suffer.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't pretty.
I could have written your comment, Gypsy, about my found son and his 'family'. He has made it clear that we are not his family and his brothers just aren't. I wish I could say he was entrusted to them, but that wasn't the case at all. The APs were ugly then, and they still are today. Their hatred has successfully poisoned him against us.
ReplyDeleteYes, Maru67, my son treats us exactly the same. He sings the praises of his adopters, knowing full well how they deceived me. Like you said, their hatred has successfully poisoned our children against us. My child's AP's were very good at being phony, because they people I met some 22 years ago are not the people I know and despise today. Their hatred comes from a deep seated jealousy that they know they are not the natural parents of the children they covet and by god, we will pay for that...
ReplyDelete