Friday, December 13, 2013

Just sharing

This was shared on Facebook.

Adopting couple sees their purchase for the first time

(that's just my take on it - the whole "sees their purchase for the first time". They see it as seeing "their" son for the first time)

Yes, this is supposed to be a beautiful thing. People get weepy. They praise the Lord. They talk about how it's meant to be. Sorry. I just can't go there. Like I posted on Facebook... I have such a hard time with stories like this. I understand that they want a family but they are literally praying FOR a child to lose his family, FOR a family to lose a child, FOR a child to lose his medical history, FOR a child to lose his heritage and genetic history. They are praying for all this in order to fulfill THEIR wants and needs. Is that the Christian thing to do? What about the needs of the child? Where was his mother in all this? We don't hear anything about her at all. Was she coerced by the very corrupt for-profit multi-billion dollar adoption industry? Could there have been other family members willing to step up so he could remain with his own people? Are they willing to keep a connection with people who are related to him? Are they ready to deal with the questions this adoptee will have later about where he comes from and who he is?

Like I said..... I just can't go there. I can't deal with people who are so wrapped up in their own desires that they can't see beyond them. If they have such a need to take care of children, why didn't they adopt one of the many, many children in foster care who are in desperate need of a place to call home? Why did they become one of the many couples who create the demand in a supply and demand business? It's the demand of newborns that creates the business of newborn infant adoption/aka/human trafficking. Without the demand there would be no price lists/aka adoption situations. Yes, it's a business and it's a very sad business.

I don't know what to do about it except keep talking about it. I'd love to just tell people like this to go get a dog from the shelter. If you have a need to take care of a being- then take care of that being's needs and stop worrying about your own. If it's really and truly coming from your heart (and your god) then you will be focused on the needs of the other person and not so much on your own needs.


  1. Well, this certainly didn't escape my notice ..."This couple tried to have children for almost a decade." Obviously, adoption wasn't their first choice. The adopted kid is basically a consolation prize, even if they do say he is 'their' son.

    I have to admit to mixed feelings about APs referring to the infant as "their son or daughter". If a child is given up for adoption, for whatever reason, I do feel that s/he has the right to be considered a full member of the family. Telling the adoptee that he or she is their real daughter or son does make the child feel more secure.

    Of course, this doesn't in any way minimize my adamant belief that family preservation is always the way to go whenever possible. My biggest fear is that our society is returning to the BSE mindset that 'a two-parent family is always better for child, regardless of biology'.

    Praying for an infant to become available for adoption, to suffer all of that loss and have all that pain is, well, beyond the pale. But something has occurred to me lately. If a couple feel that they are better for a child than his or her own natural parents, they (the APs) must really think they are hot poop.

  2. I am feeling nauseated. Their comment that he was listed as "Baby Boy" on the paperwork, and that means he belongs to no one. They totally ignore that he has a mother and father, that he has family. That there are probably people who are in pain about losing him -- or have been coerced into feeling that they have to give him up.