Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Insert Baby Here

I set up a Google alert for "infant adoption". Today a new one came in. I know this has been talked about many times before but for some reason this one just irritated me more than usual. I won't post the link here because I don't want them to get the attention but it's for a couple who struggled with infertility and have now gone to "plan B". We all know what that is... infant adoption. In order for that to happen they've set up a page on a crowd funding site.

On the site they posted a short video showing them with their dog, showcasing their hobbies like putting together a jigsaw puzzle and playing air hockey. They also listed their expenses for the hoped for new addition to their family....

A Homestudy $1,500-2,000
Agency Fees $10,000-20,000
Birth Mother Expenses $1,000
Attorney Fees $1,000-5,000
Travel Expenses $500-1,000

In addition to the list of expenses that would be required for buying a baby, of course there were the usual wedding photos and "see how much we love each other" photos. The one photo that got under my skin was the picture of the two of them pretending to hold an infant. They're both cozy on the couch and her arm was bent as if holding a baby, he was sitting beside her with a baby bottle in hand as if feeding the infant in her arms. A word bubble over head said... "Insert Baby Here". I just don't know where to go with that. I ended up thinking of ads for other products so I did a Google search for that advertising term, that use that technique to sell an idea. What I found was anything from green roofing solutions to art and creativity to pornographic images. I'm not only disgusted and angry, I'm sad. I'm sad for this couple because they feel such a need to be parents that they would resort to this. I'm sad that they won't even consider the option of foster parenting or mentoring a mother so she can keep and raise her own baby. I'm sad that we have an industry in this country that encourages this behavior (of course they do, it's for their bottom line) and exploits these couples for tens of thousands of dollars. I'm angry that there is an industry just waiting to exploit a mother so they can "insert" a baby into that scene. I'm angry that human beings are treated as products that you can just "insert here" for the benefit of others.

Overall, I find crowd funding in adoption offensive but so far, this one takes the cake.


  1. And I was one of those babies. No wonder I feel so happy, happy, happy!

  2. "of course there were the usual wedding photos and "see how much we love each other" photos."

    And given today's world, there is at least a 50 percent chance that they will get divorced. Although in their case it is probably higher, given the stress that infertility can place on a couple.

  3. I think public fundraising for an adoption is pretty tacky and gross.

    1. If people have to fundraise to pay for the adoption, how are they going to be able to afford to raise the child?

    2. There was a couple in my vicinty that was selling photo refrigerator magnets in order to afford an adoption. That was my question do you afford to raise this child if you fundraise to pay for the adoption? It all seemed pretty tacky to me.