Thursday, April 21, 2011

Resolve to keep talking

I learned about this organization Resolve - The National Infertility Association from a post on Facebook. They are lobbying to get tax credits for people suffering from infertility because the cost of treatment is so high. I find that a wee bit frustrating. Are there tax credits for those of us who have been through cancer? I'll be paying on those medical bills for years. Cancer is a life threatening crisis. Is infertility a life threatening crisis? They call it a crisis on the website. Now I'm not trying to minimize the pain that people feel when faced with this problem, yes I know it's painful, but how about a little perspective. The catastrophic and dramatic language that they use to get their point across can be a bit much. You're not going to die if you don't have a child.

Of course this group is also pushing adoption, it's all over the site. Adopters already get a huge tax credit to help them with the cost of adopting yet most natural mothers who surrender their infants are doing so because of lack of financial support. Why is that? If the adopters were really concerned about doing what they could to help children they would be adopting an older child from the foster care system who really does need a home. And....those adoptions cost very little if anything. Suppose a baby's natural parents aren't able to be there for the child and a family member is raising that baby. Where is the big tax credit for them? If they're really concerned about children why don't they do something to help single mothers instead of taking their children away from them? They don't because the adoption industry and groups like this push the adoption agenda which is of course money in their pockets and because they're more concerned about their own crisis of childlessness.

Resolve is having a family building conference next month. This is from the site....

So, You Want to be a Parent? Nothing can Stop You! The keynote speaker at Southwest Region’s 19th annual family building conference is Bill Grundfest, an award-winning writer and producer. “If what you want is to be a parent, nothing can stop you," Grundfest said. "And, once you are, the ‘how’ you became a parent will make no difference to anyone, least of all to you.” (bold my emphasis)

Well Mr. Grundfest, I beg to differ. Do you really think that if a couple become parents through infant adoption that it will make no difference to anyone?! How about the mother who will be grieving for her child for the rest of her life. How about the child who has been taken from his natural family, has been cut off from his history, has had his birth documents falsified, who as an adult is still treated like a child and not allowed to have his own personal records. What about all that?

When are adults going to start showing more concern for children and less for themselves? Everything I said above may sound like a broken record but every time I come across another site like this and attitudes like that of Mr. Grundfest I get pissed off all over again.


  1. While doing taxes for my daughter and my mother using computer software, it asked me several times if I had any adoption expenses to deduct. This is the first time I have noticed that, although it apparently has been available for eligible tax payers for some time.

    There are so many family issues that deserve tax deducitons, like cancer. I once had a tax accountant that said he thought there should be tax credits for travel expenses to treat seriously ill children and for funeral expenses; tragically, he and his wife had just lost a baby. These are not only horrific things that families must face, it is costly. I may be shot for this, but giving tax credits for adoption seems a little frivolous to me. It not only tears apart one family, it rewards the family that did it.

  2. The whole thing makes me want to hurl - that is the kind of thing that needs to be picketed - BIG signs saying "Baby Thief Festival" and "Join the Right to Steal" - lol - sorry, it pisses me off also!

  3. Kelli, you just hit the nail on the head speaking of adoption.... "It not only tears apart one family, it rewards the family that did it" Isn't that the truth!!!

  4. You might actually have something there Lori, I love the BIG sign idea.

  5. This makes me so mad. Lori ~ I'm right there with you needing a puke bucket and wanting to make BIG signs!!