Friday, November 2, 2012

Have you been banned yet?

This is the official Facebook page for the NCFA. When it comes to adoption, they would like you to "consider the possibilities". I tried to tell them about the result of those "possibilities" but they banned me from the page - there's a big surprise. So, to balance out the copious amounts of rainbow colored propaganda that will be spewing forth this month from the NCFA and others, I have to post my own list.

What I Hate About Adoption

 1.  It separated me from my daughter for 22 years.
 2.  My daughter's original birth certificate is trapped in the state of FL.
 3.  My original birth certificate is trapped in the state of NJ.
 4.  Open adoptions close.
 5.  Open adoptions are not legally enforceable.
 6.  Shaming... my family felt the need to hide me from the rest of the world when I was pregnant.
 7.  My family felt the need to hide my own adoption from me.
 8.  Mothers of adoption loss don't get to speak their minds without being labeled angry and bitter.
 9.  Adoptees don't get to speak their minds without being labeled angry and ungrateful.
10. Most people believe I made a choice - willingly.
11. I'll never get my daughter's childhood back.
12. People are hurt by adoption every day.
13. The voices of mothers and adoptees are ignored or silenced and deleted.
14. Money is more important than people.
15. Coercion still exists.
16. Pregnant women are exploited by media for perceived entertainment value.
17. People actually watch the so-called entertainment.
18. Adopted people lose their ancestry.
19. Adopted people lose their medical history.
20. Adoption causes trauma.
21. Adoption begins with loss.
22. Adoption is not something you "get over". It's with you for life.
23. Reunion doesn't "fix" the trauma.
24. Adoption doesn't "fix" infertility.
25. Adoption is viewed as a "fix" for abortion.
26. Adoption is viewed as a "fix" for poverty.
27. Language is prettied up to disguise the truth in the form of "positive" adoption language.
28. Adoption is big business.
29. There are literally price lists of adoption situations babies.
30. PAPs are led to believe that they are "saving" a baby.

Thirty days in November and 30 reasons why I complain about adoption. If you feel so inclined, pick a thought from the list and let the NCFA know what you think about adoption. How long will it be before you get banned?

PS: I tried to find the credit for the lovely animated rainbow colored puke but couldn't find who did it. I couldn't resist using it so my apologies to whoever you are. :)


  1. I agree with most of this. When I was pregnant iwth my youngest, the adoption agency [Adoptions from the Heart; I live in newark, DE] brought me profiles that would "deal" with my disorders [depression, aniexty, etc.]. And then when I contacted the facebook page after my son was born about if there is a known birthmom blog, my worker emailed me a name and a number of a birthmom. Then she asked for my blog site. I was taken aback by it. Then after I sent my first card to my son and his dads [gay fathers] I signed it Mommy yvonne. Well she told me that I have a special role to play and that it will confuse him when he is older. And I should know that mommy is a special title since I already have a son that I am raising. I wish more people knew the horrible side of adoption. I get some flax for calling my youngest, my son and that Im his mom, on my parenting forum that I am on. A birthmom told me that too.

    I went off on a tangent just then. lol. I am sorry. It gets to me. Am I grateful for my sons parents? Yes. Do I like adoption? Heck no. I will be reading your blog more and subbing to it.

  2. Number 8 really hit the nail on the head for me!