Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Occupy Adoption

Occupy Wall Street is growing and spreading across the country. People are taking to the streets to take back their power and now it's moved on to the virtual streets of Facebook. Wouldn't it be amazing if there was such a thing as Occupy Adoption? The main idea of OWS is getting the money out of politics. Doesn't the same thing need to be done to adoption? The money has to be taken out of the adoption system in order for children's interests to be considered first. REAL family values have to be considered important. Mothers have to be considered important to their children, not interchangeable depending on who has the deeper pockets. Babies are bought and sold in this country just as our politicians are bought and  mothers are left bleeding at the side of the road.

a roar
“hearing her pain,
she stood up and spoke out loud.
another heard.
another spoke.
forming a circle around the wounded,
they bared their scars to one another.
gently they whispered.
we are one.
we are not in this alone.
we are one.
the chant grew stronger.
and stronger.
and stronger.
until a roar shook the earth.
and the world listened.”
~terri st. cloud

Thanks to FB (where I found Terri's words) and blogging we're getting the word out about the power hungry and the family starved. Just as people who speak out against corruption in government are sometimes  painted as anti-American, those of us who talk about power imbalance and corruption in adoption are labeled as anti-adoption. Am I anti-adoption? Yes and no.

My 'anti' list.....
mothers and babies being separated unnecessarily.
agencies and brokers making tens of thousands of dollars on the sale of babies
price lists for babies - oh, pardon me.... "situations"
pro-adoption language like the word "situations"
college scholarships for mothers who surrender their children for adoption
organizations like NCFA who lobby for the brokers
the lies of open adoption
the unenforceable open adoption
the time frames in which a mother can sign surrender papers
the ridiculously short revocation period for the mother
agencies advertising for and recruiting pregnant women
PAP's advertising for babies 
pre-birth matching
PAP's in the hospital with a mother when she's giving birth
the connection between abortion and adoption
adoption used as solution by pro-lifers
adoption used as solution to poverty
the lack of resources for mothers and children
the sense of entitlement that many PAP's have
adoption being viewed as a solution to infertility
adoptees not having access to their own personal history
sealed original birth certificates

My 'pro' list.
true orphans or children in need being taken care of by a family

As you can see the 'anti' list is far longer than the 'pro' list so I guess that makes me about 99% "anti-adoption" but it's not un-American to speak out against unethical practices. (I'm sure there are things I've left off the 'anti' list, I'll add them as they come to me.) The mothers and adoptees who are affected by the corrupt adoption system make up the bulk of the people involved in the industry but have the smallest voice. I think that's changing. Like OWS, the number of voices is growing. It needs to keep growing for the sake of families.

I love this list How To Really Love a Child by Sark. I would add to it.....

Keep children with their mothers and natural families whenever possible.


  1. Amen Carlynne! So much of OWS applies to how adoption is run. The voices of the people adoption impacts should be foremost in who is heard and considered in adoption but that isn't the case UNLESS you're repeating what the powers that be wants to be repeated!

    You rock!

  2. Thanks Amanda and the feeling is mutual! :)

  3. As a mother about to send my first letter to my daughter who I lost to adoption 20 years ago, I thank you for your wisdom and your passion and your insight. I will keep coming back to this blog.

  4. Teri, thanks for coming and I wish you the best as you go on this journey with your daughter. I know the heart pounding, edge of your seat feeling you're dealing with right now. It's an emotional journey and can be a roller coaster ride but for me it was worth every bit to have my daughter in my life again.

  5. I am starting this Facebook page in hopes of changing our laws in the state of Florida. We run into sealed records and it seems like we don't have a voice. Well I want to gather those voices and let them HEAR us all at once. I am an adult adoptee and I understand the pain of searching and people who just don't care. There are many sites and modern day angels who selflessly help us on our journey and when you meet one, it takes the fears, worries and sorrow away. This is not a page to meet those people, although it is possible. I want this page to be a political action page! One where we can all get together and be heard as one! This is a page where many members can have a strong enough voice that our lawmakers in Florida will finally stand up and listen. We are taking action to stand up and have our rights restored to open our adoption records. This is being done in solidarity with the principles of Occupy Wall Street. We are a peaceful group that has power in numbers. Anyone interested in changing the laws in Florida to Open records for adoptees are welcome to join. My facebook is Occupy Adoptee Rights in Florida.

  6. Brett, thanks for sharing the info about your new Facebook page. I'm going there now and will share!