Sunday, September 4, 2011

Care and Feeding

In my wanderings through web pages I came across this little tidbit. The title of the article is Infertility - Caring for the Birthmother. Seeing this line in the middle of the list of other articles such as what kind of aromatherapy candles to buy for stress relief, recipes for chocolate cake, and shopping for funeral sprays made me feel like there should be a card with a list of how-to's like you get from the hardware store about re-grouting your bathroom tile. Maybe adoption agencies could start making labels they can tag on pregnant women that give PAP's care and feeding instructions for "your new birthmother". Geez.... the title says it all too doesn't it? Infertility = take someone else's baby. And... she's not even a woman or an expectant mother, she's THE birthmother, an "it" to be handled.

Here are three of the items on the list.....

3. A complete social, family, medical and personal
history is essential, including drugs and alcohol
use. The woman may be afraid to be specific.
4. A woman considering placing her child for
adoption may be at higher risk for STDs and
social problems. She may require additional
medical and social supports, even after the
placement of her child.
5. Care during delivery should be the same as for all
mothers. However, delivery may not be joyful; in
fact, the mother may show signs of grief and
bereavement. The mother may not want to see her
child or stay on the labor and delivery floor. These
wishes should be honored.

Well, you know how I feel about the "b" word so I'm not going into all that again.

Interesting that the first line of #5 has to be mentioned at all. We all know why that is. Care during delivery for unwed mothers used be very different from married mothers. For decades we were treated like breeding stock and even abused by medical staff. "However, delivery may not be joyful; in fact, the mother may show signs of grief" - wow! Imagine that - the walking uterus has feelings.

The snark could go on forever with crap like this but it's a lovely Sunday afternoon and I've had enough of being annoyed. Just thought I'd share.

1 comment:

  1. The saddest part of all - it is recent. Nothing ever changes....