Wednesday, August 11, 2010

We're just sayin'

"Are you serious?? You want us to celebrate the destruction of natural families... of natural mothers?? Get a grip, people. What you are doing is WRONG. Help mothers KEEP. Don't take from the poor and give to the rich. Or should I say don't take from the unprotected unmarried and give to the wealthier usually-married?"

"are YOU serious?? Do you think it's better for a child to be raised in a family where it isn't wanted?? Where opportunities are so limited. Where neglect and abuse are a way of life. More times than not, these children are a product of a drug deal, or some ignorant individuals own thoughtless sexual gratification. Reproducing like animals. You are in LA LA LAND! "

So this is how the conversation started on the National Council for Adoption Facebook page.
Hey Liz, Aaron and Sarah....did you know your mother is an abusive, drug addicted, animalistic whore? Wow! Stereotype much oh NCFA supporter?

so I responded......

"ah yes, the *all unwed pregnant mothers are crack addicted abusive sluts* argument. No one is advocating that babies stay with abusers. None of us want children to suffer neglect and abuse. Please learn more about what really goes on and who these mothers really are. So many, and I'd even guess that most are simply young, scared and needing help with resources. No one should lose their child permanently because they need a temporary helping hand. "

That response was enough to get myself banned from their website. A number of my first mother friends also posted responses and did a much better job than I did and of course they were banned too. First our posts were just deleted from the wall. Then we posted on the discussion board - many just writing their stories, their truths. Those were then deleted. We posted again, again we were deleted and now we're just banned completely. I'm glad I managed to copy and save some of the posts from that thread before they made it all go away.

They claim they want to hear adoption stories so we were just trying to be accommodating. Funny how they changed their minds since our stories didn't come with a pretty rosy glow and choirs of angels singing. They also claim that first mothers are terrified of their children finding them, that's why they don't want adoptees to have access to their own records. Why do they imagine they can speak for me? They can speak for me but I can't speak up at all? I get banned if I speak up? Well, NCFA, you can ban me from your page but that's ALL you can do. There's a lot of us first mothers AND adoptees out here and we have a lot to say about your industry. We know what the truths are because we've been living it for decades.

Keep talking people.


  1. I love it! I had no idea that I was a junky whore! Wow! I wish someone had told me, maybe then I wouldn't have spent so many years either completely numb or in pain, except with my husband.

    Frakken idiots! Sigh, worse, a lot of the kids believe it.

  2. I suspect a lot of first mothers WISH they had had drugs to ease the pain of their loss but did not.

  3. Unfortunately many mothers did turn to drugs and alcohol after they lost their children. They were finding ways to cope.