tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post42909381043896583..comments2023-05-13T05:39:17.781-04:00Comments on One Option Means No Choice: Upside downCarlynne Hershberger, CPSAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01365785230628216814noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-19552984774673969262014-06-26T19:23:45.853-04:002014-06-26T19:23:45.853-04:00Definitely agree. I cannot bring myself to befrien...Definitely agree. I cannot bring myself to befriend adopters. They want to live their lives on a pedestal - not only do they think they have the right to take someone else's child, then want mountains of praise and accolades for it. <br />Yes, our children have suffered immensely as we have, and why because PAPs (PREDATORY adoptive parents) sit like vultures waiting for a crisis to occur in a young woman's life so they can swoop in and steal the child - the adoption lobby / industry with the blessing of Governments creates orphans for others to adopt - how blatantly SICK! <br />Victorianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-2381851369887898842012-01-16T09:58:07.505-05:002012-01-16T09:58:07.505-05:00"I know the popular view is often that mother..."I know the popular view is often that mothers suffered most, amongst mothers that is.Until that changes and there is compassion for all affected by adoption our understanding will not progress."<br /><br />I think that Von works herself into a frezny with this thinking; that we mothers think we are the only one's who suffer and I am hard pressed to figure out why. We know we aren't. Our children have suffered too. I will not include the adopters in this because they are the only one's who gain from our suffering. <br /><br />Why does she feel the need to troll first mother blogs and denounce everything we say about OUR truths?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-64032143295660688112011-10-05T07:09:52.855-04:002011-10-05T07:09:52.855-04:00I agree with you Von about the diagram and the ado...I agree with you Von about the diagram and the adoptee's portion. That's why I said it should actually be non-existent(I'm also an adoptee, step-parent). I understand what you're saying about the pain, which is why I also mentioned the pain wars. In fact I probably said something along the same lines in another post. In this one I was expressing my personal feelings about the whining that goes on from the AP side.<br /><br />Unfortunately, that upside down hierarchy of power isn't going to change until the industry and others understand the pain of the adoptee and the mother. It also won't change until the money is taken out of adoption. <br /><br />The reason I went ahead with expressing my feeling about this (and I did hesitate) is because we are so often dismissed. The ones with the greater power are not.Carlynne Hershberger, CPSAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365785230628216814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-73551417279469404292011-10-04T23:29:45.552-04:002011-10-04T23:29:45.552-04:00Like your diagram and agree with the position of a...Like your diagram and agree with the position of adoptees, it is even less than your diagram indicates as the disempowered point of the inverted triangle, even as adult adoptees constantly referred to as babies and children.<br />There is no hierachy of trauma and pain.It is not productive to compare who suffered most as it is different for everyone and no situation is the same.We cope differently, we feel differently.I know the popular view is often that mothers suffered most, amongst mothers that is.Until that changes and there is compassion for all affected by adoption our understanding will not progress.Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-74820579046679956142011-10-03T18:54:57.837-04:002011-10-03T18:54:57.837-04:00Thank you Michelle and Susie.Thank you Michelle and Susie.Carlynne Hershberger, CPSAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365785230628216814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-63128332457237383272011-10-03T18:51:01.827-04:002011-10-03T18:51:01.827-04:00Excellent post! I also agree with Michelle ~ PC o...Excellent post! I also agree with Michelle ~ PC or not, it needs said and you said it perfectly.Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15929169562563801608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-43186466076965781292011-10-03T14:32:23.628-04:002011-10-03T14:32:23.628-04:00Excellent post, Carlynne. Your upside-down triang...Excellent post, Carlynne. Your upside-down triangle sketch is right on. Though, not "right" at all. When will children and mothers come first? When will keeping families intact become the priority?<br /><br />And you are so right about this:<br /><br />"When a mother of adoption loss is grieving, she is grieving the loss of an ACTUAL CHILD - a living, breathing infant who she is biologically connected to, an infant she shares DNA with, an infant she carried for 9 months. I'm sorry, but there is a difference. At this point I don't care if it's not PC to say it."<br /><br />PC or not, it needs to be said...preferably shouted from the mountaintops! Thanks for saying it.Broken Branchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11533563968563392316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-4816135511611594312011-10-03T11:46:04.375-04:002011-10-03T11:46:04.375-04:00Of course Lori!Of course Lori!Carlynne Hershberger, CPSAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365785230628216814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1138721004042487054.post-72382245064613166552011-10-03T11:28:05.588-04:002011-10-03T11:28:05.588-04:00Bravo! Exactly! May I link?Bravo! Exactly! May I link?Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com